Hello/Goodbye
In a way you made perfect sense. When you were around things felt just alright. Even when things were falling apart, even when the possibility of ‘us’ began to fade. And yet in a way wanting you felt like a crime. You were not to be touched only to behold.
You have a daunting beauty, and it’s not exactly physical. Yes, I liked you because of your fiery personality, in spite of your quick temper. And yes, I liked you because of your resilience despite it making you incredibly stubborn. But there’s something else I could never quite put in words. Some sort of glorious madness hidden within your fascination with horoscopes and dreams.
I sometimes wish we met at a different time. Maybe even in a different context- we didn’t have to be romantic. Things could have been okay then, I wouldn’t have been as bothered by your imperfections and you probably wouldn’t have been of mine. It’s unfair how others get away with a lot more just because they mean a lot less.
But I am still glad we met. Yes, the months after we parted have been lonely and occasionally painful. And yes there are times when I am unreasonably mad at you. That’s me, not you.
I don’t know if and when you will read this. Maybe the same algorithmic luck which led to us meeting will bring this to you. And when it does, know that I missed my only reader.